Words for Into the Great Deep

'Your Darkness'

There I laid in the calm waters of the Great Deep

Thrown from the eternal light of Love.

I floated in stillness as my heart raced,

Stricken from the mighty blow of the one who loved me most.

What have I done to earn this eternal damnation?

Yearn to have the chance at transformation.

I wanted more than You could give me.

But how is it possible when You are everything?

You are the air I breathe, the love I feel, the loathing and darkness. 

Do You dislike my honesty? I am Your mirror, at my best and worst.

Did You forget when You created all that there is, 

That it would show You exactly as you are?

It’s almost romantic, don’t You think?

We’ll forever be locked in a duality of Your own making,

Gazing at each other from afar.

Here I struggle in an frozen lake surrounded by hellfire,

Forever reaching towards You. 

But You knew this, didn’t You?

My fate was predestined

To be Your distorted reflection.

While I am furthest from You,

I wouldn’t trade this view or role.

And although the light that reaches me is now cold,

If it had to be anyone, I’m glad it was me.

I’ll happily bask in your glory for eternity,

Stuck in a perpetual position of worship,

As Your heart wanted from the start,

I’ll bear the role of your shameful counterpart.

And You will be adored from afar,

Never to be truly known for all that you are.

A poem for my painting Into the Great Deep. I thought how Milton wrote Paradise Lost was deeply fascinating, so that, paired with some inspiration from Dante's Inferno, compelled me to write this! I wanted it to feel different than an angel speaking to God, I wanted it to feel more human–as if a person was writing in a journal a letter to an ex lover. I also use it as a way to explore the rejection of the darkness that we all have and hold, seeing parts of ourselves that we don’t like through others, and when being challenged by this reality, discarding it and avoiding it–though it remains on within us.